Am I Free?

Am I? Am I really free?
Free from the bondage... Free from the chains... Free from this sin?
What does that even mean? What does it look like to be free?
It seems like I've been un-free for so long now that actually being free is quite inconceivable...
Like... What does it even look like for me to face temptation, oh so heavily, and yet be free. from. sin.
...
Is that even a thing nowadays? Because my surroundings would seem to say otherwise.
My surroundings would seem to say that sin has quite a grip on everyone!
Drinking, smoking, sex with whomever, selfish ambition, worldly "wisdom", and all the like...
And it's all the like that makes it sure seem like freedom doesn't even really truly exist.

I mean... Does it?

Am I free if I'm tempted every single day to slip off this pretty purity ring and slip into some shorts that show just enough to make you wonder....
Am I free if thoughts keep creeping into my head about what he looks like without apparel and why I'm still so much better than she is?...

What is freedom anyway? Cuz somedays.... I wonder if it even exists anymore.

It's The Ennnnnnnnd

Oh my gosh. My guts are gonna burst out onto the floor of my suite-style room at Margaret Amini Scholarship Hall..... And then they're just gonna be there for the next person who will live in this room to look at for their year of living here. It saddens me that my first year of college is coming to a close. Here's why:

I loooooooooooooooove living in Maggie! It's so convenient and wonderful and intimate and beautiful! I'm close to everything on campus and have the privilege of being able to eat (home-cooked meals, that is) all the freaking time! I've made some pretty cool friendships here. I live with all women, which is such a blessing. Everything here seems so wonderful! I love it here! I never want to leave.....

But I know that change is not only necessary, but also inevitable. *Sighs*. I really am excited for next fall. I'll be an RA at Ellsworth, which is super cool! I'll be living on the Hill finally with the rest of KU... I'll be enjoying the actual college experience. In a dorm. Lots of people. MEN.... Ugh. It'll be interesting, indeed. I'm nervous and excited all at once. I am also very happy about these changes; they'll certainly be good, whether they start off that way or not. I've just grown so comfortable living here with these wonderful, intelligent, diligent, persistent, amazing women....

I don't want to leave anymore. I like it here....

But I know that God goes with me wherever I go. I know that he's leading me and he knows his plans for my life even when I don't. I know that he's got great things in store for me, and for that I am excited. Just to see what God is going to do in this next section of my life... It's thrilling.

Prayers.... They'd be awesome

Made To Reflect Him

As humans, in order to understand things, we relate them to things which are more familiar to us. I've noticed that writers in the Bible often describe God and Heaven by relating them to things that are common to earth, however, they don't say that those things are exactly how God and Heaven are. In Revelation, John describes the 4 living creatures by comparing them to things that we see here on earth. But he simply could not tell us exactly what they were... Things in Heaven are simply indescribable! The only way we know how to describe those things (or anything for that matter) is by relating them to things that we actually have seen and experienced ourselves.

This has been on my mind a lot lately. I've heard people say before that God "shines like the sun". But  that seems a bit backwards to me. If God created the earth and everything in it and created all things in his image, then wouldn't all things that he created reflect HIM? The Bible tells us that the earth and everything in it worships him.. So the son, being a reflection of God actually shines like God. Man! That blows my mind...

Sometimes I look at the sun and think about God... I can't even stare into the sun for more than maybe 5 seconds at a time because its brightness is painful! Could you imagine staring at the face of God?! People in the Bible couldn't even bear to stand in the presence of angels! Could you imagine what it would be like to stand in the presence of the one that created angels?!?!

I can't...

He blows my mind.

He rocks my world.

He flips my wig.

He drives me craaaaaaazy!

Just wanted to share these thoughts... They may be a bit illogical and all over the place. :)