The Me That I Love :)

This me is fantastic

This me is secure

This me has just about everything she needs for success

And most importantly,

this me

ain't  stuntin these hoes!! 

Totally kiddin, guys!!

... And the Crowd Goes Wild

Yup, it sure does... for the right person!

And I HATE when the crowd goes wild for some, but not others.

It really "p"s me off. :-\

And tomorrow, I might just be a victim of such cruelty, not that I'm doubting my popularity.

I just know that when I go up on the stage to accept my awards, there won't be nearly as many cheers as when the cool kids do...

*sighs*

:) :) :) (: (: (:

I'm not gonna overreact this time, or make any assumptions too soon.

BUT...

The guy that I'm kinda into gave me his number yesterday. :)

And we're texting each other... Now.

But I'm not gonna rush anything. Cuz he could just like me as a friend.

And his best friend is my ex.

So, I'll just leave it at that. :)

Woot woot!

Apology Taken Back

Jerk.

That is all.

Done with You

Completely and utterly finished.

I mean I am through.

Why? Because you ruined a lotta ish.

You ruined me and my reputation and a good friendship.

You're selfish.

And I can honestly say that right now, I hate you.

Hate.

Sincere hate is what I feel towards you.

So congratulations, "bro."

Mistakes

It really sucks when you confide in someone and trust them with huge stuff

And when you grow close to them and, as you gain theirs, they begin to gain your trust

When all of a sudden, you come to realize that they weren't so trustworthy after all

And usually, it's them, that you would run to for catching if you would ever fall.

Soooooo.. Who do I turn to now that you're gone?

Revival in KC, Yall!

Soooo... I've never been to a revival before, but it sounds like BUCKETS OF PRAISE AND WORSHIP....

Right?

Soooooo maybe I'll just catch the next one because from how Cage is describing it, this one doesn't sound too much like what I envisioned..

This is more like what I had in mind... :)

 

And this..

I Like You

I like you.

But shhh! Don't tell anyone.

It's a secret for now and no one must know.

But it wouldn't work out right now. Here's why...

1. I have jealousy issues.

2. I'm not ready for a committed relationship, even though I want one.

3. I'm very impatient.

4. I'm not sure who I am just yet.

5. I have no time.

But I do like you.

I don't want to because I'm unsure of whether or not you like me back.

And I'll be so hurt if you don't.

I don't want to put my feelings out there, but at the same time I do.

I like you.

But until I can find some stability within myself... Shhh! It's a secret and no one must know.

Like

I don't think they really like him.
Because if they did, they would save him a seat at lunch instead of letting him sit at a table beside them, peering over. But he sits with integrity even when I ask if he wants to come sit with me because he sits there alone.
He doesn't fit with them. Not visually. He's fat. He's really heavy. But he tries to be like them.
He tries to fit with them and I guess they accept him. But I don't think they really like him.
Not how they like each other or the other people in their clique. They save seats for each other and hug each other and choose each other.
But they don't save him a seat. They don't hug him. If they had to choose between someone thin and good-looking and this blob of conformity, they wouldn't chose him.
But if it were he and I they had to choose from, they would definitely choose him.
Because I'm not popular like them.
Even though he isn't visually pleasing. He's no eye candy.
They would choose him because he's one of them. Or trying to be at least.
But still, I don't think they really like him.

Pissed Off

Congratulations!

You have managed to make me THIS MAD!

Doesn't happen too often.

I have called you about fifty curse words in my head already.

Fifty.

I don't like you.

Just so ya know, we are no longer friends!

Friday, March 11, 2011... Bobby Ray Simmons.

Yep, he's gorgeous.



And on Friday, March 11, 2011, around 8 o'clock, he totally told me that he loved me.
On stage.
And we're gonna get married one day. Not sure when, but we will.
It'll happen.
Soon. :)

Good Googaly-Moogaly....

That thang is juicy!

... Couture, of course! :)

Snooty Booty

I think I may be a little arrogant.

Little bit conceited.

Teeny bit stuck-up.

Very little bit egocentric.

And just a tad full of myself.

The image below... Just might be me a little bit.

Or I could just be thinking too much.

Period Pimple

I don't really care for this time of the month.

It brings out the B in me.

And the ugly.

Like this nasty pimple on my forehead that you can't really see.

But I can feel it.

It hurts.

Bad

Shhh! Don't Never Tell Nobody!

Blogger.com, you are my online diary.

To whomever is following and reading my posts, same goes to you!

So, I just hope that you're all trustworthy.

Because when I log on and pour out my innermost thoughts and feelings, I don't really think twice.

I just type. And it all flows together as if I were talking to a real person.

But I'm not.

Just blogger.com.

And whomever is following and reading.

Can You See Me

Can you see me?

Like how I see you. How I observe you.

Can you see me searching?

Can you see me trying?

Can you see me being something that I am unsure of?

Can you see me searching for someone to be like?

Can you see how hard it is, too?

Can you see that I am me right now but I don't even know who me is because the me I've been in the past has changed so many times that I don't even know which me I am today?

The me I thought I knew was preppy.

She was funny, cute, and girly.

But then she was tomboyish. She was trying to be ghetto.

Bisexual.

She was impure. Then she was pure and the holiest of holy.

She spoke her mind and had not a care.

But who is she now? Who is me now and who am I?

And can you see who I am even though I can't?

Can you see me beyond the layers of clothes I dress myself in to cover up my insides?

Can you see me past the shades I threw on this morning?

Can you see me?

Me inside of the outer me.

Can you see she?

Go My Own Way

I'm sorry for leaving. I guess I just didn't fit in right.

But the sad thing is that I don't fit in anywhere.

This isn't some sob story about how I'm trying to figure myself out again.

Just apologizing for leaving the group.. To find myself.

And do you know where I am now?

Me either.

But getting away helped.

Branching off and isolating myself so that I could define myself without the pressure of conforming to who you all were brought a little bit more clarity to who I really am.

And I thank you for being there for me when I needed a group to depend on.

When I needed to call myself something. And I did.

But I don't anymore.

I'm still searching.

But thank you for being there when I needed you.

If I ever had to choose a group of people to hang with... It'd be you guys.

... Carolyn, Gina, Ashlyn, Hannah, Chinera. :)

I See You

I see you

Wearing those new clothes, putting on new shows

Fitting in with the 'in' and those of the like

Finding yourself in your friends own identities

Not realizing that towards yourself, there is enmity

When you reach out and grab whatever's in your reach

At anyone's exspense so you can learn, then teach

Those surrounding you how to be just like

Those ones in the media who are living the good life

I see you...

I see you reaching out and begging for help

Not knowing who YOU are, so you scream out

help

And no one comes, so you just take what you see

Just doing like those that you've seen on TV

Not even caring who knows or sees what you do

Just to be accepted and all to be cool.

That's cool what you do because it gets you by

When your friends see you they all shout 'yeah, you fly'

But you don't even notice your peering bystanders

Who watch what you do and all of your mannerisms

I see you.

Fighting. Trying. Searching.

Not finding.

But I see you

trying.

Love, Love, Oh What a Love :)

Umm.. This is a pretty random post.

I'm just pretty happy with my life right now.. So I thought I'd go ahead and let yall know!

:)

Thanks for reading!

What a Girl Gotta Do to Get Some Biscuits Up in Here?!?

Is there some kind of law that applies to everyone that only makes certain people popular?

I would like to say that popularity isn't important to me, but would I be typing about it if it weren't?

I don't know.

But I would just like to know that I could be popular if I wanted to be.. But just choose not to be.

But when I think about that for a while... I'm not so sure that I could be.