For The Love of God

Joy to the world, everyone! I've finally figured out how to stop hating my ex-boyfriend! And it all came to me when I was studying the Word, which is so awesome and pushes me to continue seeking after Christ!

All this time I've been hating that guy and praying that somehow I could just stop caring; I'd pray that I could stop hating him and simply be indifferent. I didn't want to love him or hate him, but basically feel towards him the way it appears as though he feels towards me. I'm sure he doesn't really feel indifferent towards me; he's just the kinda guy that is completely unthoughtful and I'm sure he's pretty focused on God and himself right now. Totally understandable. But, I think that because I felt/feel as though he's behaving as though he's indifferent towards me, a lot of hate had been built up in my heart because I know that I deserve more than that.
Anyway...... The answer to my problem is this: I need to pray that God softens my heart and shows me how to love that loserish ex of mine the way that God intended for me to love him. And that's gonna be a really hard thing to do, especially right now, when I don't feel as though I'm being loved by him at all.
Jesus, however, is such a compassionate savior. I can't imagine how he mustered up the strength and courage to love Judas even when he knew that Judas would betray him.... That's mind-blowing to me because Jesus knew that Judas was going to hurt him and turn against him and loved him before all that! On top of that....... Obviously Jesus loves me the same way, so I have no right to hate my ex for any wrongs that I feel have been done.
I simply must pray and ask God for the strength and the courage to love the way he wants me to.... Passionately, unconditionally, patiently, kindly, without envy.......
God, help me.... Cuz apart from you... I can't do this.