Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Major Issues

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.... This breakup has taken a huge toll on my life and has made me crazier than I ever could have been before..... If that's even possible!

Monday, November 18, 2013

Sweet Depression

The only friend I have, the only one who's here for me.
I can talk to you, because you're  the only one who will listen
The only one who knows my pain.. You understand what I'm going through
And instead of trying to cheer me up and make my day, you wallow in it with me...
My sweet depression
A close friend you are, but a friend who hurts me most
You bring me pain and remind me of all of my failures
But at least you're there for me still, that's why you're so sweet.
You bite and sting, then hug and hold.
Though your embrace isn't very comforting at all, it's all I've got
My only friend
My sweet, my precious, my loyal depression.
And at the end of the day, you remind me that you're there
So I return empty-handed and empty-hearted
I gravitate towards you and let you drink me dry like you always do.
Because you're all I've got anymore.
My sweet depression, tried and true

Thursday, November 14, 2013

New Surprises


Blogger.... Boy, has a lot happened since we last spoke..
First thing's first: the love of my life and I are no longer together. As of October 14, 2014 (exactly one month before my 18th birthday), we are no longer an item. And it's a long, sad, but glorious story. My lover went off to college and came to the realization that God was no longer the center of our relationship and he knew that in order for each of us to seek Christ, we needed to separate. So he broke things off with me though he really didn't want to. The breakup has been in effect for a full month now and we've had and still have our ups and downs.... It's such a tricky and complicated situation, but I believe in my heart that God has a plan for both of us.
Secondly, today is my 18th birthday! Man... Time really does fly! I remember sitting in my science class at Arrowhead on the day before my 13th birthday and freaking out because turning 13 was such a huge deal! I mean it was the first year of actually being a teenager! Now I'm entering my first year of actually being legal... It's mesmerizing, really, just to think of how far I've come since then.. All I can say is that life is truly a blessing!
Third and final: this breakup with the love of my life has definitely brought forth some blessings. I've formed a new, wonderful friendship with a guy at my school. He's awesome and has been through a rough breakup before, so we've both sort of bled together. That may sound really depressing, but honestly, it's just good to have someone to talk to who understands your pain. Although my ex-lover understands my pain, I sometimes feel as though I can't come to him with all of my feelings because I don't want to affect him emotionally and throw off his walk with Christ. So, I'm super thankful for the people that God has placed in my life at the perfect time for me and them.
...... I'm 18 now...  I'm a big girl, but still as dramatic as I've always been.
It's been a nice journey, and I'm sure there's plenty more journeying to do!