Defining Me

So I've been questioning a lot of things about myself lately. Actually I've been questioning things about everyone else, too! It turns out that I have no idea who I am or how I fit into this world. I'm still wondering a lot of things about God too, like if he even hears me. It's like I know that he does, but I just wish I could talk to him directly and get a direct answer. I don't understand a lot, not only about him and everyone else in the world, but about me, too. "No one defines you except yourself"?? Well I don't even know where to begin. I'm just so lost. . . 

So is this just a part of being a teenager?? Cause if so, I don't ever wanna be one! Ever! :P

. . . But I guess I'm just a tad bit late ;)

Right Time to Say Goodbye. . .

They say there's never a right time to say goodbye. Well, Chris Brown says that, at least. But there's gotta be a right time! Especially when you probably never should have said "hello" to the person in the first place. Even though my relationship with Ahmad isn't all it could be or all it has been, it's not right to go and start something new with someone else. So pray for me, please! Because for me, there really never is a right time to say goodbye. :P

Dressed In Black

Someone was mad, they wanted to get back

Now we stand silent, We're all dressed in black.

Nobody knows who and no one cares why.

We don't know what to do. And so no one cries.

No apologies accepted, at least not anymore.

We solve problems with guns; it's nothing like before

when parents made us go to our "enemy"s home

Say "I'm sorry" and we're friends again; all the issues were gone.

But now people die, instead of our problems.

They get shot and their families are left with the problem.

Whoever killed Jessey sure didn't think twice

about him or his family, or that they were taking his life.

No one could ever put his whole life into words

And now they never will, because he'll live "with the birds".

Feel Me

Feel me...

Don't just listen with your ears and understand what I'm saying. 

Come put your body close to mine and feel what's deep inside.

Love me.

Don't just watch me and want every inch of my skin and flesh, but come wrap your arms around me and show me that you...

Love me..

Don't just tell me meaningless words. It's you that I want, so caress me and hold me and show me how much you missed me.

Let me know that it's only me that you need to be with.

Maybe if you show me all of your emotions then we can be one and feel one

another.

Because I feel you... Oh and words cannot describe how much I love you... And so badly how much I need you and need you to caress you and hold you and there's not other way to show you.... 

Than for me to 

feel you...

So you can feel me too.

Cry a River, Build a Bridge... :)

I just couldn't seem to find a way to forgive you for all the pain

But my therapist says I must, or I just might go insane.

So I'll sign this pledge, but only for a day will you not hear my mouth

But tomorrow I'll be back to remind you of the pain, scream, yell, and pout ;)

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

Bipolar Ish

So I'm almost positive that I'm bipolar..

If I'm not bipolar then I definitely have some kinda issues!