Procrastination Might Be Key...

This is EXACTLY how it works for me.. And sometimes, this is just good enough to work!

Now, I'm not really one for procrastination and who am I to say that I believe it's okay to do? I'm no one.. :P However, lately with my TOK Connections, procrastination has seemed to work out decently..

I wait till maybe the week that they're due (about two or three days before they're due) and I work my butt off under all that pressure.. And that has seemed to get me higher than a B on my connections.. Higher than a C, most importantly, but at least a B+ on the last two connections...

So what could this mean exactly???

Could it mean that procrastination might just be crazy enough to work sometimes?? I think so. But pick and choose your battles wisely, folks! For instance, if you have a 900- to 1200-word essay for TOK that you've known about for seemingly a month, don't wait till the week that it's due to begin thinking about it and working on it... 

Because that only causes stress.. And I would know.

Because that's just what I did... :)

In Love... All Over Again

I know, I know.. I've posted about being in love like five hundred times now, right?? Well I'm doing it again and I won't guarantee that it'll be the last time! Sorry!! :)

So, my boyfriend and I were emailing each other last night and I was feeling all googly over him (I get that feeling every now and then... Kind of often if I'm not upset with him) and I started texting him the lyrics to "Infatuated" by Prima J. (Great song, right?!) Anyway.. He questioned what I was saying to him and I told him that they were just lyrics to reassure him.. And we began to discuss further how he knows that he's in love with me and that it's not just infatuation...

But guys, how do you know when it's infatuation while you're infatuated?? Maybe once it's happened so many times a person becomes familiar with that feeling.. I know now when I'm infatuated. And this... Is definitely different...

Hmm. So for seven months I've been questioning my feelings for this guy and I think it just started to make sense... I'm pretty sure we could probably assume that I'm "in love"...

So why can't I just accept that then???

Lovely Bunch of Coconuts

Yes, I sure do have a lovely bunch... And when I say lovely bunch, I am indeed referring to my awesome boyfriend! ♥
I know you guys are gonna get sick of me blogging about how much I love that guy, but maybe it'll stop soon... He says that one day we'll get tired of each other, but I don't wanna see that happening.. I don't want that to happen.. Because I freak out about the little disputes we have.. And those aren't even disputes.. Those are just my freak-outs about nothing.. So when the big stuff happens and when he's tired of me and I of him... How the heck am I gonna handle that??
It's a scary thought, no?
....

♥

Yes.. I love you a whole whole bunch!

... But. Sometimes I feel like I'm doing this to you.. But if I don't do this, then we won't have that.. I'm sure of it. Because I've been giving you some breathing space lately.. And consequently, I miss the heck outta you!!

Fresh

Can I have something that's brand new? Something that's nice and fresh..

So that when I try it out, we can both say we're impressed.
It's never had me and I never it. And because of this coincidence, we're both taking a risk
Cuz neither of us knows what we're doing.. We're just venturing out here.
Both of us are in perfect condition, no scratches or stains. So when the two smooth surfaces rub together, no friction is created.
We just slip and slide right across each others surfaces and everything goes on smoothly....
....
But wait.. Without that friction, the two of us will slide right across and completely miss each other.
If you've got some scratches, they'll grab on to mine, too.. And those grooves where our scratches come together will keep us there.. Right??
Well, I've got small bumps, very very small bumps.. But a lot of concern for your blemishes..
You've been through three point five years with another smooth surface. And before that, one point some-odd years of another smooth surface.. And before that, another year and some change with another smooth surface..
So I take it you know the ropes around here.
But I don't. I've only been rubbed by one other and that other left me with just a few tiny bumps and not a lot of experience..
So... If you've got a track record of rubbing and running, how do I know that I won't be left with some scratches resembling the ones you have?
I think my few bumps are quite enough...
I just wanna know.. If you were able to rub those other surfaces for so long, how do I know that my surface will not end up the same as theirs?
So when it comes to rubbing up against another surface... May I have one that's just like mine..
A fresh one please?

Things Are Lookin Up

With my birthday quickly approaching and club volleyball season beginning, things are looking pretty good right about now.

My grades are decent, I love my boyfriend, and my friends are awesome!

:)

I hope this happiness lasts for a while..

Not Really Sure...

So... Just gonna ask for prayers in this post.. I've been pretty selfish lately and I realized that this morning at church when the preacher talked about 2 Corinthians 13:5. We have to take time to do self examinations so that we know that we are living by faith.
Lately, I've been living by myself.. I've been thinking of only myself and caring only about myself and expecting everyone else to fall in line.
So, I surrendered to God today. I did what the Word says do and confessed my sins to my fellow believers so that they may be keeping me in their prayers. And I apologized to all the people who've had to deal with my selfishness.
Anyway, prayers would be awesome right now.. Whether you're a follower of my blog or just a random onlooker... :)

Steal My ♥

After seeing all the crap that my sister has gone through with different guys, I promised myself that I wouldn't fall in love with a guy until I know that I'll marry him. But my sister even thought that she was gonna marry her last boyfriend and he ended p breaking her heart..
So, it's really tough for me to let you have my heart when I know that you're capable of breaking it.. I understand that you're giving me yours, and I promise I'll do my best to take care of it.. But still.. I think keeping my heart to myself is what's best for me right now..
But trust me, I really want you to have it...

Never Understand

Man.. I'm not even gonna lie--religion is such a touchy subject, even when it comes to close friends.. My best friend of two years and I are so different when it comes to religious beliefs and lifestyle choices that I've simply decided to keep my beliefs to myself. It seems as though every time I bring up my religious beliefs, my best friend has a disagreement with something that I say or she claims that Christianity is "too complicated" and that really hurts my heart.
I think it's hurt my heart so much that I've decided to completely ignore that part of our friendship--the part that deals with religion and separates us completely. And while this may seem like the right thing to do in this situation, my beliefs suggest that I should be praying for her to come to Christ. So, pray for me as I pray for her, guys..
I know that it may seem impossible for her to become more open-minded about my religious beliefs, but with God all things are possible!
And that I believe.

Her Price is Far Above Rubies

What a wonderful young lady you are. I just wish you knew it. I wish you could see how beautiful inside and out and how much God loves you for who you are. A lot of people are gonna come into and leave out of your life that only want you for what you can give them, but you're worth so much more than that.
No matter how much someone loves you, you should never feel the need to go against the purpose that your creator has for you. But if that has happened somewhere down the road, that's okay. You're still a wonderful young lady in his sight. God loves you more than anything, and all of your flaws and imperfections are made perfect through him. Never will you need the approval of any human being because God created you perfectly.
You should love and respect your body and yourself like God does. it's his temple after all.

"In L♥ve"

What could you possibly mean when you say that you're in love with me?
Sure, you've got experience with this type of thing, but if you're not anymore in love with those girls, then how can you be so sure that you're in love with me?
Shouldn't love last forever? That's what I would think anyway.. And if you're in love with someone, shouldn't that mean that that love lasts even longer?
You say that you've been in love before, but I think you're just an extremely loving person.. And so am I.. Which is why I wouldn't know if I was in love or not.. Because I love everyone.. And I love a lot of people passionately.. And just because I passionately love someone doesn't mean that I'm in love with them..
It just means that I love them a lot.. I want to be in love with you so that we can be in love with each other..
But I'm just not sure if that's what I am.. And I don't really think that that's what I wanna be...
In love.

Bleh.

I'm just trying to stay stress-free...

How's it goin so far, you ask?

.... Well, I'm tryin... I most certainly am tryin..

Hard Times, Y'all

It's so difficult for me to live with my stepdad being the only parent in the house! It's not that he's difficult to live with or anything (as he pointed out to me yesterday). It's just that he's so difficult to figure out. With my mom I have an understanding of exactly what's expected out of me. She is also very easy to understand, as I've had a fairly strong relationship with her for the past sixteen years. But my stepdad is a little questionable...

Sometimes he lies and the one thing that I lose all respect for is a liar! So, it's already pretty tough for me to respect him. However, I treat him with respect at all times because he's my parent and also much older than me. He also tends to alter his behavior around certain people, which utterly confuses me about who the heck he really is! I feel like I'm living with a stranger almost and it's very frustrating!

Lastly, I feel like my stepdad is attempting to be my friend, rather than my authority figure sometimes. And then when he decides to be the authority figure, I'm not really sure how to handle that...

I'm not saying that I'm a perfect child. Clearly, I've been making some pretty big mistakes for me to end up on punishment. But things have been changing so much for me lately... My mom is living seven hundred seventy-nine miles away from me for the first time in my entire life! I just got my license a couple months ago and my very first job. And not only that, but I've started my junior school year as a full IB student... With my stepdad, there's plenty of freedom as long as I let him know first.. But it's really hard for me to respect someone who seems to be so shallow as an authority figure....

*Shrugs*

Prayers, guys... It'd be really nice right now.

Define Class

noun. 

A person or thing displaying impressive and stylish excellence.

I think that looks something like this.

And, honey.. YOU ain't got it.

Somthin Special ♥♥♥

You and I, boo. Yeah me and you

We got somethin special, we sure do

It's something kinda neat and something so sweet

No other "somethin special" could even compete

This feels pretty real and I'm sure that you feel

the same about me, and I'm so glad that we've healed...

Our pasts don't matter, cuz this is right now

And we've got somethin so special, so we'll hold on anyhow

Moment By Moment, One Day At A Time

Hay, bloggies! I've recently encountered a friend of mine that's been struggling with an addiction. As I've struggled and still do struggle with the same addiction, I felt the need to share with the world a few words of encouragement...

Dealing with addiction can be the toughest thing ever, especially if you're Christian! I used to wonder sometimes if I was even saved and if God would still forgive me when I'd been committing the same sins over and over again. The hopeless feelings and sorrowful thoughts caused me to wonder if God even believed me anymore when I apologized and confessed my sins to him. I was THAT hopeless. And the truth is that I still am.

Addictions, I believe, stick with you for your entire life. I may be wrong in this theory, but it seems to me that an alcoholic will have that one temptation for another drink all his life. And the devil will tempt a porn addict every chance he gets. But I learned in my father's Celebrate Recovery group that we should take life moment by moment, one day at a time. That phrase is so simple, but it's extremely powerful!

Whenever I think about how I'll always be tempted with this sin for the rest of my life, I just get so depressed. But when I remember that I can do all things through Christ and realize that when that moment of temptation comes, I can withstand the pain, I feel totally relieved.

I may fall again. No denying it. Somewhere down the road I'm gonna home all by myself and the temptation will seem unbearable! And I may fall that day. Or I'll remember that the joy of the Lord is my strength and I'll call up a buddy and have them pray with me. Either way, I'm gonna take it moment by moment, one day at a time. I'm not gonna let my addiction get the best of me. And you shouldn't either.

Remember that no matter how many times you fall, no matter how often you fall, God is always waiting for you to come back home to him. And he loves you just the same! 

And if any of you guys have an addiction that you'd like prayer for, I'm totally here! :) Cuz I know it ain't easy, but it's always nice to talk to someone who can relate. :)

Honor Thy Mother and Father

Exodus 20:12 says:

"Honor your father and mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you."

And I couldn't agree more! Ever since the day I was born, I've been raised to respect and honor my elders, especially my parents. And I'm sure this verse would apply to grandparents, too.

But goodness gracious, it's hard honoring my grandma all the time. I know that probably sounds bad, but my grandmother isn't exactly a sweet old lady.. Quite the opposite, actually. And even though she has her good moments, it's still really hard for me to accept the bad ones. It's like I never know when the beast will be unleashed!

And not only that.. My grandma can be very annoying sometimes; she talks so much and repeats herself over and over again, so I feel like she's talking to me like I'm a child. And that can be really frustrating!

*Sighs* Just pray that I'll be able to survive these next couple of days with my feisty grandmammy!

Kiss Me, Baby! ;)

Man.. It had been so long since I'd kissed a guy.. After that one ex and I broke up, I was craving some lips to suck on.. 

But I'm so glad I waited for this guy :)

He's got some nice lips that I can appreciate

... And I know that he appreciates mine, too!

The Beauty in Religion

I find it so interesting how people always knock religion declaring that it separates people. It's funny how so many people feel that all of the various beliefs in the world have some similarities, and because of that, there should be no separation. And while it is true that different religious beliefs can provide variation, people are the ones who cause separation.
Tonight at my dad's Christian church I watched as all the people fellowshipped with one another. All the different races and ethnicities just gathered together and danced and lifted up the name of the person who they consider to be their savior. And even though they all come from different walks of life and have different struggles, they all come together to love each other and worship because they realize that they have something in common. And as I was watching them come together on common grounds, I was able to really see the beauty in religion.
Religion brings together people of similar beliefs to love one another despite other things that would typically set them apart. Religion doesn't separate anyone. People do.
One of my close friends is a pagan and I'm a Christian, but we share commonalities in our senses of humor. We're also both very honest individuals and that's why we love each other. We don't allow our differing beliefs to dictate our friendship. As long as neither one of us tries to force our beliefs upon the other, we're fine.

But from here on out, I will look at religion as something beautiful... Because it is. :)

A Little Encouragment

Hay, Bloggeroos! How's it goin? Pretty good on my end and here's why...
Two of my grades (biology and algebra) have gone back up to A's!! (A-'s, but A's nonetheless)! Anyway, I'm just super grateful for the wisdom and focus that God has provided for me! It's really amazing because after I basically failed a math quiz, I almost completely gave up hope. It was totally discouraging and caused me to believe that it was simply impossible to bring my grades up in such a short amount of time. Although the grades for the last few quizzes we've taken in math class have not yet been entered, on School Loop my grades say that I have all A's and one B. In other words... I'm encouraged to strive for one more A!
All glory be to God, the supplier of all my needs! I will continue to seek him and praise him when things are good or bad! I know that it's all gonna work out for me in the end, though!

-Romans 8:28

"Do Not Make Work Your Idol"

World, I have a message for you... It is one that I have failed to fully accept, but I am on the verge of acceptance and your prayers at this point in time would surely be awesome!
...
At the start of second semester, my chemistry teacher had us all write down our goals for the rest of the year and hand them in to him. He wrote little responses at the bottom of each person's goal list. My goal (of course) was to make straight A's for the rest of the school year...
This hasn't really happened, though. And every time I look at my grades and I find a B--one B, two B's, THREE B's (for the first time ever!)--I freak out. Well after the freaking out because of one B got old, I just realized that there was really no point in freaking out. I would just take care of business and bring it up. And that was working all year.. Until fourth quarter, when I had 3 B's. I was determined to bring them up like always, but my mom was not happy. She just started getting really strict about my grades, which she never does. She usually understands and knows that I can and will eventually bring the grades up.. I guess she felt like time was running out..
So today, after freaking out about getting an 80% on a math quiz, I decided to look back at my chemistry teacher's response to my goal list. Briefly, my chemistry teacher told me about a book that his pastor wrote entitled Work Matters. The main point of this book is that as humans created in God's own image, we were created to work. But we should not make work our idol... This is so hard for me, because throughout the years, I've put so much hard work and effort into my grades that they've become most important in my life.
While school is of high priority, I should never choose homework over reading a quick passage in the Bible. After all, if it weren't for God, my creator, I wouldn't even be at Sumner Academy, one of the greatest schools in the nation! I'm gonna have to meet God halfway when it comes to grades and everything else in life. I have to remember that even though they are MY grades, I'm not in this alone.
It's just that it can be so hard accepting the fact that I'm not perfect..
Prayers right now.. Would be excellent!

This Guy :)

So, this guy I went to prom with (who I call my "best friend") is somewhat amazing...
And even though nothing may not ever happen between us, I've come to the understanding that it's okay.
No matter what happens between us, it's gonna be what God wants.. And if God wants us to one day marry and have 28 babies and 49 cats, I'll get over my fear of having kids and my strong dislike of cats and take what God gives me. And I'd totally appreciate that.. :) Because I love this guy

Soon You'll Learn

Someday you'll learn that the many relationships you have in high school are not so fun after a while. Once you've given your heart to someone you thought you had mutual feelings for a time too many, you eventually find out that it's not really worth it anymore. High school is fun, for sure! They're even said to be your golden years. But must you be in a relationship to have fun? I've analyzed this subject quite a bit now and I've learned that there are so many high school students that are subconsciously dying to be in a relationship.
And for what? What's the whole purpose of a relationship anyway? I guess the answer to this question depends on the person being asked. I believe that relationships are mainly for courtship--to get to know someone so deeply and intimately because you plan on marrying that person. That seems to be the main goal of a relationship from my perspective. But high school is only four years long. After that couples usually break up because long distance relationships (if the case involves the partners each choosing different paths) are very tricky. So, the two are left heart broken and emotionally wounded because they just spent the last however many days/weeks/months/YEARS with someone who they cared about a lot. So what exactly is the purpose of dating in high school?
Soon you will learn that it's not a great idea to become emotionally attached to someone at such an early age. Sure it's possible to meet your future spouse in high school, but I believe a person should find their own way first; figure out your own life plans and then meet someone who would like to share that with you. :)
These are just my own beliefs... Feel free to comment!

A Night to Remember

That's right, ladies and gentlemen! I'm a-goin to prom this year!!

Adore

I'm the girl that makes guys feel like they can fly and like they can fight

wild fires with toys. I'm the girl that makes guys chuckle and roll their eyes

when told that I'm not good, 'cause my skin is pure joy.

I'm the girl that makes guys open up and realize that everything they've ever wanted

is right before their eyes. I'm the girl that makes guys lose themselves in jubilation

and indulge in the sweet taste of my candy life.

I'm the girl that they need after only a few weeks because the dance in my spirit takes

hold of their hearts. I'm the girl that they dream "never shall we part!" once they see what succulent laughter I bring.

And so sweet is my love that they adore so much, that they take too much and end up with sweet teeth. But keep coming--they come, they come back for more. Because my sweet and savory love they adore.

Thank You for Being a Friend

I think I'm PMSing again, guys! Because I usually don't let family problems really get to me..

Or friend problems.. I usually just pray for them and move on, but I've never actually felt the pain of others. However, today I almost broke down.

Thankfully, I have really good friends that I can trust and depend on for prayers and encouragement. So, to all of my faithful friends that have provided me with such, I thank you and I'm so blessed to have you all in my life.

GO TO BED

It's after midnight and you up blastin yo freakin music and washin dishes.... WHAT. THE. HECK.

Not So Sure...

You and I have boundaries, that's for sure. But I'm not so certain what they are.. There's a line that separates friendship and more.. But I'm not positive on where we stand.. With Valentine's Day quickly approaching, my vulnerability would definitely want us to cross the line that separates us and stops us from being more.. But it kinda feels like it's already like that with us..

So woe is me! Oh pitiful me, because I feel like I'm all alone out here. I'm tip-toeing on that thin, thin line that we dare not cross and your actions are saying that you are, too.

But am I just delusional?? Is it just that I've never had a close friend of the opposite sex before? Am I blowing this friendship out of proportion??

Or are you peering over the boundary lines, too?

We're SUPER Cool

That guy that I hated.. That guy that I used to like a lot and he liked me a lot.. The guy that I almost dated.. The guy that I talked to for like two days.. That guy that I couldn't seem to get over.. He's my buddy again :) And I love him again.
And things are just like before... only better :)

life, LIfe, LIFE!

:(
It just seems like life was so much simpler when I was a kid..
Because when I was a kid and a family member had a terminal illness or an illness at all, I never knew it.
When I was a kid and the economy was bad, I never knew the difference.
When I was a kid I could just breeze through life unaffected by any drama... Or if I were a dog, then I could breeze through life and get old and still not worry.
Yeah. Kids and dogs got it easy...

Maybe I'm Just PMSing..

I'm not exactly sure.. But I think I hate you.

That is all.

Can We Fix It?

It's always good to be optimistic and have a positive outlook on life... But what if you've wronged a friend a few times? And what if you've wronged that friend a few times too many? See I have a best friend that is very kind and forgiving. And I've never argued with a best friend until this one.. But every time we argue I'm the one in the wrong.. And I don't like that.. It feels like I'm a terrible friend and I'm taking advantage of her kindness. But that's not the case- I know it's not! I believe that I'm an appreciative person..
*sighs*
I don't fear that I will lose her friendship, because we're such good friends. But I don't want to continue to unintentionally mistreat my best friend and get away with it..
So how do I fix things? I'm not really sure. But I'm starting to think that maybe this whole "best friends" thing is for the birds..