Sunday, September 11, 2016

I Forget

Sometimes I forget....
I forget about that lonely night in my bedroom in Kansas City where you met my heart so sweetly. The night that I was left without the hope of receiving love from what I once thought was an unconditional source... I often forget that night. And I forget the way that you suddenly appeared to me after tenderly whispering "Come" and I came. Only a small pace did I take in your direction, but I heard the gentle beckon and began my reluctant pursuit. But the part that I tend to forget is your hurried response to my weak and uncertain "Yes"....

Every now and then I have trouble remembering that heavy night that I snuck back into my dorm room on 14th and Louisiana. The shame, the guilt, and the disgust I felt come to mind much more often because those feelings are all too familiar. I find it hard, however, to recall the comforting embrace that told me "You're forgiven" when that was the last thing I wanted to hear. Your overwhelming grace that surrounded every part of my heart and each member of the body that I'd already deemed condemned and damned enveloped me.. But that's what I tend to forget.

It seems that almost every single day I need reminding of those days when I would walk the long way to class just to talk with you and to hear your voice--your soothing, calming, thundering, tremendous, gentle, passionate, sweet, warm voice. I forget hearing you say to me "You need me" because I oftentimes just feel like I can do it all by myself. And I just forget... I forget that apart from you I can do nothing.

So I just go on about my day without listening to your gentle beckons and sweet, sweet summons... All you want is just to whisper in my ear of your love for me. You just want to wrap me up in your warm and forgiving arms--your arms that know no shame! You just want to hold me so tightly in a never-ending embrace of love--true love. The ONLY love that's not hard to find, the only love that's forever focused on ME. The only love that gives me what I so selfishly desire--desire! Because you just desire to be with me, to hold me, to speak to me, to love me, to know me, to behold me....

Your love--I just forget how sweet it really is. But you are so kind, so faithful to remind me. Of your love <3