Shhh! Don't Never Tell Nobody!

Blogger.com, you are my online diary.

To whomever is following and reading my posts, same goes to you!

So, I just hope that you're all trustworthy.

Because when I log on and pour out my innermost thoughts and feelings, I don't really think twice.

I just type. And it all flows together as if I were talking to a real person.

But I'm not.

Just blogger.com.

And whomever is following and reading.

Can You See Me

Can you see me?

Like how I see you. How I observe you.

Can you see me searching?

Can you see me trying?

Can you see me being something that I am unsure of?

Can you see me searching for someone to be like?

Can you see how hard it is, too?

Can you see that I am me right now but I don't even know who me is because the me I've been in the past has changed so many times that I don't even know which me I am today?

The me I thought I knew was preppy.

She was funny, cute, and girly.

But then she was tomboyish. She was trying to be ghetto.

Bisexual.

She was impure. Then she was pure and the holiest of holy.

She spoke her mind and had not a care.

But who is she now? Who is me now and who am I?

And can you see who I am even though I can't?

Can you see me beyond the layers of clothes I dress myself in to cover up my insides?

Can you see me past the shades I threw on this morning?

Can you see me?

Me inside of the outer me.

Can you see she?

Go My Own Way

I'm sorry for leaving. I guess I just didn't fit in right.

But the sad thing is that I don't fit in anywhere.

This isn't some sob story about how I'm trying to figure myself out again.

Just apologizing for leaving the group.. To find myself.

And do you know where I am now?

Me either.

But getting away helped.

Branching off and isolating myself so that I could define myself without the pressure of conforming to who you all were brought a little bit more clarity to who I really am.

And I thank you for being there for me when I needed a group to depend on.

When I needed to call myself something. And I did.

But I don't anymore.

I'm still searching.

But thank you for being there when I needed you.

If I ever had to choose a group of people to hang with... It'd be you guys.

... Carolyn, Gina, Ashlyn, Hannah, Chinera. :)

I See You

I see you

Wearing those new clothes, putting on new shows

Fitting in with the 'in' and those of the like

Finding yourself in your friends own identities

Not realizing that towards yourself, there is enmity

When you reach out and grab whatever's in your reach

At anyone's exspense so you can learn, then teach

Those surrounding you how to be just like

Those ones in the media who are living the good life

I see you...

I see you reaching out and begging for help

Not knowing who YOU are, so you scream out

help

And no one comes, so you just take what you see

Just doing like those that you've seen on TV

Not even caring who knows or sees what you do

Just to be accepted and all to be cool.

That's cool what you do because it gets you by

When your friends see you they all shout 'yeah, you fly'

But you don't even notice your peering bystanders

Who watch what you do and all of your mannerisms

I see you.

Fighting. Trying. Searching.

Not finding.

But I see you

trying.

Love, Love, Oh What a Love :)

Umm.. This is a pretty random post.

I'm just pretty happy with my life right now.. So I thought I'd go ahead and let yall know!

:)

Thanks for reading!

What a Girl Gotta Do to Get Some Biscuits Up in Here?!?

Is there some kind of law that applies to everyone that only makes certain people popular?

I would like to say that popularity isn't important to me, but would I be typing about it if it weren't?

I don't know.

But I would just like to know that I could be popular if I wanted to be.. But just choose not to be.

But when I think about that for a while... I'm not so sure that I could be.