I guess I'm still somewhat hung up on the fact that I don't feel as though I was treated the way I should've been in my last relationship... I know I should definitely get over it, because the past is the past, right? Well, it just has me thinking about the guy that actually will deserve me....
If I loved my ex as much as I did, I can't imagine how much I'll love the guy that actually puts forth effort in our relationship...
I honestly just miss the feeling of being in love. I find myself sometimes longing for a relationship just so I can experience the phases again... The initial attraction, the building a genuine friendship, the nurturing, the puppy love, the infatuation, and then.... Falling in love.
It was one of the best feelings I've ever felt! I don't regret falling in love with my ex; it costed a lot of heartbreak--true! But in the end, experiencing the love and emotions involved was so glorious and magnificent......
I just can't wait for the real love of my life. The one who's gonna love me and express it and show it in ways that we both can understand! He'll be everything I need in a man. He'll be my friend, confidant, boyfriend, fiancé, husband..... Soul mate...
"Who doesn't long for someone to hold, who knows how to love you without being told? Somebody tell me why I'm on my own if there's a soulmate for everyone...."
-Natasha Bedingfield
Friday, August 29, 2014
Thursday, August 14, 2014
Applying Pressure
What I really need right now is to bleed.
Apply pressure to the wound and watch the blood ooze out....
Gosh this hurts so much. To see you move on and be happy and start anew and not even acknowledge the fact that IT WAS ME who stood by your side when you bled......
No, you never bled alone. I was always there to pick you up. Those late night conversations, those long days that you felt lonely and confused. I was there for you. But I'm left to bleed alone and why?
I'm unsure of that answer and it kills me so much.
Dude..... I literally gave you everything. That was my mistake, giving you my all. Especially knowing that you could never give back the amount that I gave to you.
Just a fool was I.... A sad fool...
*Sighs*
God, the pressure is on. I've forgiven but am still feeling this pain so much and it hurts a lot. I know that only you can fix what he broke in me. Only you can heal what he's hurt. I just pray that you give me peace in the process because I know this isn't gonna happen overnight. If it were then I'd be fine by now. Because it's been 10 months now and I'm still bleeding. I honestly don't even know what else to ask you for..... Just help. Please.
I love you, God. I'm just really having trouble letting go still.
Apply pressure to the wound and watch the blood ooze out....
Gosh this hurts so much. To see you move on and be happy and start anew and not even acknowledge the fact that IT WAS ME who stood by your side when you bled......
No, you never bled alone. I was always there to pick you up. Those late night conversations, those long days that you felt lonely and confused. I was there for you. But I'm left to bleed alone and why?
I'm unsure of that answer and it kills me so much.
Dude..... I literally gave you everything. That was my mistake, giving you my all. Especially knowing that you could never give back the amount that I gave to you.
Just a fool was I.... A sad fool...
*Sighs*
God, the pressure is on. I've forgiven but am still feeling this pain so much and it hurts a lot. I know that only you can fix what he broke in me. Only you can heal what he's hurt. I just pray that you give me peace in the process because I know this isn't gonna happen overnight. If it were then I'd be fine by now. Because it's been 10 months now and I'm still bleeding. I honestly don't even know what else to ask you for..... Just help. Please.
I love you, God. I'm just really having trouble letting go still.
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