First off, my winter break was OMG SO BOMB. Before going into any new or different season of life, I like to pray and ask God what he has for me in that season. I do this because I like to have a clear vision for what's ahead and then pray into that; whatever God wants for me, that's what I want for me cuz IT'S GOOD! So I'd prayed a lot for the things I wanted to see during my winter break--mainly just to have good, quality time with my family members and friends because it's so easy to waste time when we're together. I feel like I've done that all my life--just got together with family and enjoyed myself but didn't leave knowing anything more about them. I feel as though that's a waste of time; I don't want to only know surface-level information about my family members, I want to go deep!
So the Lord did that in so many ways. I had the chance to confront some latent issues that I'd had with my mom, feelings of resentment and hostility were confronted and I know that the Lord is beginning a work in that area. I was able to spend great time with my aunt who I feel as though I barely know! I got a chance to have deep conversations with my sister and I even got to pray with 2 of my closest friends!!! It was powerful and wonderful and GOD IS GREAT.
So the portion of my break where I was at home was, without a doubt, successful! For the final week of Winter Break, I went to Selma, Alabama to volunteer on an Alternative Break! And, as I love to pray into different seasons of life, I didn't really get a chance to pray into this one, and that kind of concerned me. But OH MY GOSH, God blew that thing all the way up! It was AMAZING and completely life-changing.
The organization that my group volunteered with--Something New Organization, formerly known as the Freedom Foundation--is not a Christian based organization. But most of its volunteers all attend the same church together, live in community together, and FREAKING LOVE JESUS!! It was such an amazing experience to actually feel God's love and see the Gospel lived out by people who didn't even need to say Jesus' name. You could just FEEL the love of God all throughout that place and it was extraordinary! Not only were the people that we met amazing but God also did some wonderful things for me personally while I was there... God just gave me CLEAR VISION of what it is that he's calling me to do. I now know that I am called to start up a mentorship program through the schools in Wyandotte County! It's not what I had planned before but if God has that for me, I want it... So Ima just do it. <3 p="">
Umm.. That's my winter break but since then, there have been other amazing things that the Lord's been doing in my life!
For starters, it is totes true that God works everything out for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose! Would you like evidence of that? Great!
So during my freshman year of college, I made the HUGE mistake of befriending a guy who was just not so good for me. What started off as a merely platonic relationship between 2 strangers soon (exactly 2 weeks after meeting) became a disastrous, unhealthy, toxic, sexual affair. It was probably one of the most difficult spiritual battles that I had encountered and entertained during my freshman year of college; it'd brought about so much shame and guilt that I didn't wish to shine a light on with anyone really. I'd gone through a cycle of obedience to God by cutting the guy out of my life and disobedience to God by welcoming him back into my life that was impeding growth and honestly tearing me apart emotionally. I finally completely cut the guy out of my life (by blocking his number and deleting and blocking him on Facebook and Twitter) in early October of 2015 and I believed for sure that that door was completely closed. Little did I know that the door would be reopened in a new way only a few months later.
So in January of 2016, I butted in on a conversation between a couple of friends and found out that the guy with whom I'd had that long, terrible, draining, and awful affair had been having an affair similar to ours with a girl that I'd be working extremely closely with; she and I were on an executive board of an organization together! Now, you know that that's supposed to be a disaster, right?!? Well, upon finding out that information, I initially just knew that the girl and I needed to sit and down talk it through. So that's what we did--we talked, we exchanged experiences (which were quite similar, might I add), and we PRAYED for each other...
I was filled with SO MUCH JOY. The Lord worked out that whole disaster of a situation that I probbaly shouldn't have been in in the first place for the good of both of us. The situation has since brought the two of us closer, which is such a blessing because situations like that typically don't end well. To this day I'm still kind of shocked and healing from that experience. I'm learning to forgive that guy for the lies he told and the ways in which he hurt me, but I know that God will continue to reveal himself to me through the process. The process hurts from time to time, but it's good and meaningful. And if I allow God to have every piece of pain that I feel, I know that he is faithful to give me beauty for ashes.....
I hope that all this encourages you guys! God's amazing! Living a life of surrender unto him is SO WORTH IT!
